The Last Entry
Well it's been a while since I last wrote an entry and I figure I ought to write a last one because I no longer have time to write them.
But just to let you catch up with my life, this is what's been going on:
Still friend with Julia, still have a boyfriend, school is good but plumetting because of my lack of interest, and family has its ups and downs. Nothing too exciting.
I think I just realized now what a sad life I have. I stayed home today, instead of going out, so I could talk to Julia, but she went out with her dad, instead of telling him she didn't wana go out. Now I'm home alone, bored, and with nothing to do. Oh, but of course there's writing, right? No, it seems with writing that if you don't do it regularly you begin to lose touch with the whole story you started with. My writing has lost its rhythm and there's no more inspiration, and I have no idea why because there are enough things in life, just by looking out the window, that could give me inspiration. But between school, friends, family, and other little things that take up life, I just don't have the time or energy to write anymore. And that makes me sad because writing is the one thing that I truly love doing. So, I was reading this book 'Pompeii' but that didn't work out either. The same reasons for the lack of writing. And the same thing happens with a book. You could be in the middle, at the turning point of the book, but if you stop reading it for a week or so, it's just not the same and you can't get into the book as well. Hm...stuck at home, for me, there's not much else to do except pathetically come to my computer and write in a stupid online journal.
But yea this morning and what happened with Julia just basically demonstrates how my life is lived. It seems I just try to do as much as I canf or Julia, but it's never enough and it never will be. My mother goes on and on about what a selfish bitch I am, but I swear if I didn't live with her she'd go insane. I'm nice and understanding with her about her bullshit shelter work and how she doesn't come home till like 7 or 8 and that screws up my nights. I do exactly what she tells me to and I do well in school, but it's always that she wants more. I have this friend who claims that he trusts me and that I'm his friend, but it seems the only time he calls is when he has a problem. And that's fine if he comes to me for advice, but if he were truly a friend he'd call once and while just to say hi. And it pisses me off, because I don't say anything about it because I'm just trying to be a friend. But after a while it makes me feel like shit knowing that I'm trying so hard to help him and he listens, but doesn't do what I tell him to and never offers me help when I need it. It's just like why bother anymore trying to help people and be nice when all I get really is like a slap in the face.
Well, that's all, I guess. Oh, I can't wait to be living somewhere far far away from all of these people where I can write as much as I want and read all the books in the world, lol. Thanks to whoever has read this pathetic journal.
~Katie
But just to let you catch up with my life, this is what's been going on:
Still friend with Julia, still have a boyfriend, school is good but plumetting because of my lack of interest, and family has its ups and downs. Nothing too exciting.
I think I just realized now what a sad life I have. I stayed home today, instead of going out, so I could talk to Julia, but she went out with her dad, instead of telling him she didn't wana go out. Now I'm home alone, bored, and with nothing to do. Oh, but of course there's writing, right? No, it seems with writing that if you don't do it regularly you begin to lose touch with the whole story you started with. My writing has lost its rhythm and there's no more inspiration, and I have no idea why because there are enough things in life, just by looking out the window, that could give me inspiration. But between school, friends, family, and other little things that take up life, I just don't have the time or energy to write anymore. And that makes me sad because writing is the one thing that I truly love doing. So, I was reading this book 'Pompeii' but that didn't work out either. The same reasons for the lack of writing. And the same thing happens with a book. You could be in the middle, at the turning point of the book, but if you stop reading it for a week or so, it's just not the same and you can't get into the book as well. Hm...stuck at home, for me, there's not much else to do except pathetically come to my computer and write in a stupid online journal.
But yea this morning and what happened with Julia just basically demonstrates how my life is lived. It seems I just try to do as much as I canf or Julia, but it's never enough and it never will be. My mother goes on and on about what a selfish bitch I am, but I swear if I didn't live with her she'd go insane. I'm nice and understanding with her about her bullshit shelter work and how she doesn't come home till like 7 or 8 and that screws up my nights. I do exactly what she tells me to and I do well in school, but it's always that she wants more. I have this friend who claims that he trusts me and that I'm his friend, but it seems the only time he calls is when he has a problem. And that's fine if he comes to me for advice, but if he were truly a friend he'd call once and while just to say hi. And it pisses me off, because I don't say anything about it because I'm just trying to be a friend. But after a while it makes me feel like shit knowing that I'm trying so hard to help him and he listens, but doesn't do what I tell him to and never offers me help when I need it. It's just like why bother anymore trying to help people and be nice when all I get really is like a slap in the face.
Well, that's all, I guess. Oh, I can't wait to be living somewhere far far away from all of these people where I can write as much as I want and read all the books in the world, lol. Thanks to whoever has read this pathetic journal.
~Katie
